Struggling with Christmas

That's it really. Or rather, I'm struggling with what to do for Christmas.

Last year, Hol & I decided that it was time that we had our own Christmas, and that we would do something different. This was before we found out that Elle was due on 25/12/04, and I don't think that 'having a baby' was quite what we we're thinking about!

We had another go at working out what we want to do, but the more we talk about it, the closer we get to doing what we've done for the last 11 years of being together i.e. Spending Christmas day with one or other family and then seeing the other during the following week.

Now, I have enjoyed all of my Christmas' so far. They have been times when I have focused on the magnitude of Emmanuel, and spent time with my/our families, have enjoyed giving gifts, and eaten just a little too much (just a little!) but I am finding, having started to break free from my role as 'Child' in either family, that I want to be the man that I am in my own home. It's just that it's not as simple as that. As much as I'd like to have everyone here for Christmas, we don't have the space (even though we are blessed with a lovely house.) So the practicalities are limiting (cramping) what I think I want!

It's proving a difficult and slightly painful process to work this all out.

So this year, I expect all will be as normal. Just as tradition dictates....or will it? maybe we'll take on breakfast? or lunch? Maybe I'll do what I'm always encouraging other people to do. To move on from the complaint, to the solution. Be pro-active.....or maybe I'll eat lunch, watch the Queens speech, and go to sleep and try to forget it all....'til next year!