I Am Amazing

I Am Amazing.

Truely and undeniably amazing.

Not because I am talented, good looking, skilled, rich or powerful.

I am beyond worth.

There is no value high enough that you could name, or write a cheque for, that could match my worth.

The exciting thing is that.....so are you!

You see, I, and you, are created by God. Not as clones but unique individuals and we are soo loved.

When we freeze water, we make icecubes. When God freezes water he makes snowflakes.

Do you know Him in your life?

Me and My Obsession

Two moments have combined in the last few days to create and interesting effect in my life; a question and a description.

To start with the description: I was reading a blog post by Mark Tuma and as I read it, I just recognised myself. I have thought myself obsessive for some time and I wonder if my life had been different just how easy I would have found addiction. I can easily listen to the same album for literally months as I bike to and from work.

Yet, that obsessive (focused) behaviour does not cover all aspects of my life and indeed just like Mark, does not cover my faith (at least not often). In fact it can often be a distraction. I can obsess over all the areas of my gifts rather than focusing on the God who gave the gifts.

The second (which was actually the first) was a theological question posed to me; classic apologetics.

Only, I didn't know the answer. I postulated a little, but I didn't know. Now, I have been a Christian for as long as the person asking the question has been alive (!) and yet they prompted in me an urgent need to know and so I did went to the only source of information left on the planet and exercised my Google-fu.

However it's not enough to just have the answer, I needed to understand the answer and so, my obsession was focused on my faith and my theology. My in-built preference and style was aligned with what I want to be at the centre of my life.

I am grateful to the person who asked me the question and I am reminded of an phrase:

The Gulf Stream can pass through a straw; if the straw aligns itself with the Gulf Stream

I want to use my gifts and skills to know God more but that means it must be my way and my journey. I have to discover and develop that relationship myself, with God, and I cannot rely on other peoples experience alone. Of course, this effort must not be solely for my benefit alone though.

Brother Lawrence writes, "Let us often remember, dear friend, that our sole occupation in life is to please God"


God, I pray that you would be my obsession.

Unfathomable God?

Is God really unfathomable? or How fathomable is God? How much of God can you unravel?

I don't know. But I do know that you cannot unravel Him completely.

What you can do is ask God to unravel you by revealing Himself.

It's dangerous though. Change will come.

God's Character

I'm becoming more and more obsessed with God's character.

Celebrating it, learning it, meditating on it, discussing it, sharing it and praying it.

With my 'worship leader' hat on (which is where this has all come from) if I think about leading a group of people in musical, corporate Worship, what else am I trying to do if not point towards God? The trouble being, we can't handle all of God, so we have to work on one or two 'facets'.

One season it might be God's grace, another His wisdom. Whatever it is, it's changing the way I worship.

As the old, and well ingrained in my brain, saying goes, "You can't lead people where you haven't been". It's enough to try to see God in Jesus, let alone anything else, so it requires a constant washing of the brain; through reading your bible, enjoying creation and sharing in fellowship.

So, do you know much about God?

For me, I've always loved names in the bible and why God (and Jesus) seemed obsessed with changing names. In the culture I'm in, most names don't mean much, but nicknames do. They ascribe characteristics to people, they set people apart (or draw them in) they build people up, or knock them down.

If you're feeling a little jaded, go and look at some of God's names. Why is he called them and what do they mean? What do they reveal about his character?

Incidentally, my favourite name for God is YHWH.

Manifestation of Reputation

I was in a business meeting recently and someone was being praised. Their boss said to them that they had become the acceptable face of the company and known for delivering service.

That is, by their actions they had shown consistency, integrity and value. They had become the manifestation of the business' (good) reputation.

I believe that this is what evangelism is all about. Over the years I've heard evangelism 'repositioned' in the way people think of it and attempt it. Ultimately though, I think we have it a little backwards; putting the actions, be they relational or an event, first and the reason last.

Jesus didn't phrase it this way.

John 17:20~22

...I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

In John, chapter 17 is like a summary, where Jesus is praying about protection and the things to come. Chapter 18 then carries the story on to Jesus' arrest.

The above quote is just a small part of a fairly complicated chapter, but we can see a pattern that Jesus has set many times. That is; God first, the world second. As I commented here, Jesus summarised the Law as Love God then love the world. Our love with God produces an affect. Our relationship with God motivates (or at least it should.)

Jesus prays that we will be 'in' the Trinity as He is, and that He will be in us. Firstly Jesus just asks for that to happen then, secondly, He asks for it to happen so that the world would believe that Jesus had been sent by God. What reason does Jesus have for His first request? What comes before the need to prove who He was? See the pattern again?

Effective evangelism can only happen if we have God in us, and we are in God. It is the only way.

By being in and with God, we can be transformed into the manifestation of His reputation.

Re: Turn

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them......God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day...And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden;......but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."......When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

A potted history of Adam and Eve. The reason for the world as we see it. The reason it all changed.

Often called 'The Fall', but I think I prefer 'The Turn' and I'll tell you why:

If we fall, we need to be picked up again, right? This leads us to being 'saved' or 'rescued' and overall this is pretty much what Jesus did, but it paints us, human kind, as powerless or helpless.

Compared to God, that may be, but actually God didn't make us like that. Make what you will of 'Free Will' but I believe that God allows us to choose rather a lot in our lives and that it is our decision whether we are 'saved' or 'rescued' (isn't Grace wonderful!) Jesus only made it possible.

God is looking for relationship. Even and equal, friends or lovers, not master and slave. That means we should be in relationship with God because we choose to, not because we think we should or are forced to.

The trouble is, we have to keep making the same choice; to be with God, and that often means that we have to reposition ourselves, realigning ourselves with God and His purposes.

Once we turned away, now we can re-turn and face God.

Do you need to re-turn to God?

God's Heart

This is taken from Winterfest, Knoxville, TN in 2006. It's a picture of life and God. Watch it.



It's very simple but very clear. I actually cried (which is very rare for me, though becoming less so.)

"The more you know about someone, the easier it is to become friends with them" - Mama Mirabelle

"You cannot worship what you do not know" - Andrew Wilson

Thank God that we have creative people to help us learn what God is like.

Worship Confessional: 20/04/08

Drums this week. I think I was really looking forward to this morning. A chance to build on last week, and have some fun!

I've been playing with the snare tuning to try to get a better sound in the mix and used my Tama Tension Watch (a God send if anything is) to really crank it up. It gave my playing a whole different tone.

It's not something I would usually do on a Sunday morning but it paid off.

After that, Sian (Worship Leader) had some good stuff planned and we got underway. Second song in, a random noise jumps in to the mix. Loudly. It sounds like music. Then I can hear 16ths on a hi hat. Then it's 'There's a place'. It's not the computer or CD player. Eventually, it goes dead.

Turns out the MP3 player on our LS9 was set to play, not record. So it eventually played us. Time delayed by one week. Very clever really... perhaps too clever!

Still, we carried on and OMG, what a special time. The church really woke up and Worshipped God. Looking out from the stage and see the church move, clapping, hands up, down or whatever, was a blessing and made me grin. Then we did an actions song...hehe!

The band leaders were given a word at the end of the service which was very encouraging.

The word was that we had opened the door to the presence of God in this place and that it was not just for Sundays; it was for the rest of the week (i.e. the school.)

I pray that's true.

Set List:

(Warm up - Celebrate - Ben C)
The Lord's Prayer
Great Big God O
Oh Our Lord and King

Looking in the Sky/
Over All the Mountain - Martin Smith


Be Thou My Vision - Trad (ish)

Stirring the Soul

The Easter story should stir your soul.

If it doesn't then there is something wrong; Christian or not.

In the midst of Eva's dedication, business stuff, computer problems, daffodils, chocolate, my new bike, quality time with Hol, socks, work, prophesy, changing fundamental church principals and the hundreds of other things in my brain at the moment, I pray that God would refresh me with the greatest sacrifice and the greatest victory in History and that that would stir my soul!

How about you?

I No Longer Believe

That worship is a life style
or is our highest calling
or is a goal in it's own right
or that God requires any more singers in Heaven to add to the Angels & Arch Angels
or that anything has true purpose if it is not a part of my/our relationship with God

I believe

that the purpose of Salvation is to restore us to God's original plan for Adam & Eve
that worship is a natural part of a relationship with God (He is pretty awesome you know!)
that Hell is simply 'apart from God' (I'd wail and gnash my teeth if I knew I could never be with God)
that Heaven is simply 'with God'
that I have a lot to learn
that God will help me
that transforming is a goal
that prayer is easy
that the bible is an even better gift than I realised
that God is good
that Jesus didn't 'give up' being God to serve on the earth, but served on earth because He is, by very nature, God
that we make this all much harder than it is

Father, Dad, please keep teaching me. Help me grasp what it is that you are offering. I don't want to be pew fodder. I don't want to mislead or mis-lead people. I want to know your heart. Amen

Soren Kierkegaard

Now, with God's help, I shall become myself

People are Irritating

I am singularly amused by my ability to title blog posts in a slightly inflamatory way but then to post something a little different.

People are indeed irritating me at the moment. Not, however, in a bad way. It's more in a 'hang on, that's not right' or 'that's not what I think at all' kind of way.

So many people are commenting on what I'm saying, including some respected people on this blog, and what I'm hearing is this;

1 + 1 = 2 Agreed
2 + 2 = 4 Agreed
3 + 3 = 16 NOoooooooooooooooo!

I really do offer this out in humility by the way. I am not arrogant enough to believe that I could not be wrong. It may even be just for me to learn and symantics for the rest of you.

What I mean by my example is that I agree on the basics but it's the out working that I disagree on. My thinking is changing, even if it's not quite settled yet.

I was explaining some of this to a friend tonight and even he, in his understanding, gave the same argument which proved my point (sorry for going on so much Chris and thanks to my family for listening over the weekend. Apologies that you've heard this before. )

I will go on to explain how the 'argument' goes and where the divergence seems to come in, in a further post, however I would like to finsh with my paraphrase of the wise words of Guy Partridge from Welcome Baptist Church, Heathfield (across the road from my Mum and Dad):

"...no matter how you look at it, it always comes back to prayer, the word, service to the poor and Love."

Re-evaluate Church

So, I wouldn't be the first to suggest that we should re-evaluate church.

How we see church and what we think church should be, should be in line with what we believe, but how many of us have really thought about it?

Especially those of us who believe we should be living for God beyond the end of the Sunday morning church service.

I struggle with leading Worship. Initially it was because I was exploring the whole 'Worship is a lifestyle' thing (yes, back to that again) and I needed to break out of the 'Worship = Music = Worship' trap. Beyond that there will (and should) be issues of worthiness and rightness before God. I'd flip around and keep coming back to the priviledge and responsibility that being a Lead Worshipper is. I knew I was missing something but I was caught in a thought process that was never going to change until I actually [i]thought[/i] about it. I am reminded of something Marcus Buckingham talked about at the GLS; the importance of asking the right question (that's a real learing point; if you are struggling with a question and you just can't seem to get an answer, make sure that you are asking the right quetion.)

Today it hit me.

I need to re-evaluate where church fits in to my theology and I haven't yet. Not that I want to discard church; not in the least. The implication though, is that if Worship, or as I'd prefer to phrase it 'following Jesus' is more than just church, then I can't move on fully to everything else God has for me until I downgrade or move my 'Sunday Service' to where it should be.

I don't think I have very far to go. I don't think it has anything to do with the church I go to either. Just, in the same way that my understanding of prayer has changed radically in the last week, that my thinking needs to shift. I couldn't even tell you what I need to change, just that I need to let God expand my thinking.

I'm getting very 'Big Picture' these days. I don't know where that's leading.

This is why I Love other people

We've been sold short.

It's not true.

Worship is not a lifestyle.

Your lifestyle could be Worshipful, but Worship is not a lifestyle.

Perhaps I should explain...

I can see how we got there. In the words of Matt Redman "I'll give you more than a song, for a song in itself is not what you have required."
In fact, tonight, at band communion, one guy shared his impression of this song. He said that he didn't know the song particularly well but that it made him think specifically about what the music finishes (fades) on a Sunday and we all go back to our lives, that it's '...all about you...' and I've never heard anyone interpret the song like that before. I really liked it. That is why I love other people (well, one of the reasons.) Onwards.

So, the thinking goes that Worship had to be more than singing, which is right. I just think we've plumped for the wrong solution to the problem we all face.

We all want to figure out this relationship on offer from God. It's mind blowing, so we have to have a system. Across history different people have tried different ways; from retreating from the world to trying to embrace all of it. Getting the balance right is very difficult. 'Worship' seems to be another one. 'It's close, but it's not right!' to quote the legendary Roy Walker.

Anyway, back to worship. Worship is simply not enough. Yet it is actually very inviting, it seems like we can achieve it and it can be guilt free!

Prayer on the other hand could be a lifestyle. Following Jesus is definitely a lifestyle. Both can cause the greatest guilt in us sometimes, whether we think we're doing well or not. Maybe that's why we choose Worship so easily. Then we can just let Worship be 'music' if we want and opt out. And back in again... It can be costly or without cost at all. Sometimes, we just don't want to pay the price, so we don't.

If your starting point is 'Prayer is a lifestyle' and that's how you lived, then I believe that you would see fruit coming from that lifestyle choice like thanksgiving, service, praise, discernment, joy, worship... Nirvana really had it right when they sang "Come as you are..." and it is this that we miss so often in prayer. We try to pray about the things we think we should pray about, rather than the things that are actually on our hearts. No wonder we struggle so much then. Prayer needs to be where we come as we are, pray how we are and pray for the things we think and feel at the time. God wants us how we are now, in order to lead us forward. Jesus modelled this time and time again, meeting people where they were, maybe up a tree or maybe by a well. If we accept this, we can be released from guilt, because there is no success or failure. Simply choosing to be with God, or choosing not to be.

Some would say that learning to Worship in all life's circumstances is the same sort of thing, but it comes to this: Worship should be one way. From us to God. It is about Him, not us. Prayer should be two way; a dialogue.

I think this is what God's really teaching me right now. God has been asking OG 'Will you Love me?' for some time. I think I need to re-arrange thing to get them back in the right order.

So I choose to learn what 'Prayer is a lifestyle' can teach me about following the One I love.