The Shock - is physical. I keep thinking of the phrase from my latest first aid training about 'treat as for shock'. The physical wrench has been incredibly strong for all of us. Keeping the basics going seems essential. Eating, sleeping and all that. Still, shock remains and keeps surfacing.
The Loss - is not so much in the day to day, but more in the tomorrow. Birthdays and holidays without him. No more memories with the grandaughters. for me that's the most overwhelming part of the whole thing.
The Life Left to Live - is calling me deeply. I can't forget the blessings God has put in my life. I can still see life ahead. The future is not orange, but it is bright, even without him.
It's a funny balance, but it's how life is, and has become, in the last 8 days since John died.